Tuesday, July 3, 2007

crazy woman-dreams

This morning at about 3 AM, I woke up with my heart pounding. I was breathing heavily, and I was feeling half-panicky. My honey woke up a little and asked what was wrong. "I can't breathe," I remember saying. It was like I woke up thinking I was having a heart attack. I remember concentrating on my left arm to see if it was hurting or not. It wasn't. I focused on my chest. Was it hurting? It wasn't. Did I feel pressure? I didn't.

I know, I know. If it really was a heart attack, it'd be more evident than that. I know that women often feel different symptoms than men do, but I felt nothing. I kept thinking, in my half-awake half-asleep state, that I must be feeling something, but that I must just be numb. It was my dream turning into a semi-real nightmare.

I looked it up. Here is the public service announcement part of my post: women's symptoms prior to a "cardiac incident" are unusual fatigue, sleep disturbance, shortness of breath, indigestion, and anxiety. Symptoms of an actual incident are often shortness of breath; weakness; flu-like symptoms such as nausea or clamminess; unusual fatigue; cold sweat; pain in the chest, upper back, shoulders, neck or jaw; and dizziness.

Hmmm, I might want to pay some attention to that. No, I'll think about that tomorrow. Back to my dream...

I remember thinking that just in case it really was one, I should go around to the other side of the bed to get an aspirin out of my honey's nightstand drawer, but I decided against it because I didn't want to wake him up. He might want me to go to the hospital, and I was just too tired to go anywhere. I was too tired to even talk about it. Such is the logic of dreams, you know?

Then I remember thinking I should just lay back down. I even reasoned to myself that it was just a dream. One of those freakish peri-menopausal night terrors we women tell each other stories about. Ha! I was still a little nervous, but then I reassured myself. I said to myself, "This has to be a dream. And even if it's not, and it is a heart attack, and I die, well, I’m not going to worry! I am ready to meet Jesus!"

So even in my sleep, during my worst nightmare, in my deepest unconscious, I know my Redeemer lives! I love that! I closed my eyes. Que sera sera!

Okay, I'm looking at the symptoms, and I'm thinking about my dream, whatever it was...I see the parallels. I'll check it out, kids.

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