Thursday, July 19, 2007

walking, and walking, and walking the dog

Augie Doggie's a smart cookie. His morning walks used to take only five minutes or so but he's catching on that the longer he takes to do his business, the longer his walk will be. We only walk around the yard, up and down the driveway, and around the edges of the gardens. I refuse to walk him on the street in the mornings because although he may spring up from a dead sleep and be ready to go, I usually still have my raggedy pajamas on and my hair looks like something from the last wave of punk style. I won't even come out from behind our trees, because I'm sure that as soon as I do, one of my neighbors will be driving by, staring and laughing.

This morning as we walked down the driveway, his hair suddenly went up when he spotted a rival. He is very territorial. Well, he's an animal AND he's male. What a combination. (That's no slam on males, just a statement that they're territorial, as I mentioned before.) Some lady was going by on the street with her dog, out for a nice morning drag. So Augie goes on full alert. He thinks he is going to go tear up this big, buff, shepherd-mix dog. I think Augie Doggie sees himself more as a Great Dane-ish kind of a size, when really, he's just a little dachshund about eight inches tall who walks with a limp.

I had to hold him back. Seriously. He wanted to take a piece out of the buff dog. I dragged redirected him toward the back yard, and he looked just like a tough guy you'd see on the street. You know how when a guy who is mad at someone will keep looking back while he is walking away, puffing his chest out, and flinging his arms around to show he's not scared? Well, Augie was doing the same thing. He was huffing, and puffing, and kept stopping and turning around, trying to see where Buff Stuff went. I kept hearing the theme song for "Bad Boys" running through my head!

After that, he was walking with his nose to the ground, which is usually a good sign that his business is imminent. Today was not my day, though, because I discovered he was on a rabbit's trail. He was running along, sniffing and sniffing, and as I looked ahead, I saw the bunny! It froze in place, and I steered Augie in an immediate about-face. So much for doing his business.

It was back down the driveway to try again, trying to keep him on one side of the driveway. He won't go potty in the middle. He has to be near the bushes that run along either side or chances of him going are slim. Finally after about twenty minutes or so, he did his thing, and I did a little victory poo-poo dance right in the middle of the driveway.

I'm pretty easy to please.

1 comment:

d.t.x. said...

You could write a book on just walking the dog. That was funny. I like your description of the guy flailing his arms around and puffing out his chest to make sure no one is scared of him. Too funny.