Doesn't he look like the demanding sort? (Notice he is lounging on the bed. He is slightly spoiled, I must admit.)
The other morning Mr. Augie Doggie insisted on going out the front door, which meant that I had to put him on the leash and walk him. He was simply beside himself with delight, and he did both sides of his bizz in under five minutes. Lucky for him, because I was running late for work and all he was going to get was a perfunctory fling around the perimeter of the front yard. Usually he is the straw that breaks the schedule camel's back.
So I'm excited to report that I have retrained the Augmeister to go out the side door again, where there is a smallish fenced area for him to do his business. He is not crazy about this, probably because there are few options for places to potty, and even fewer possibilities for smelling the trails of any dogs that passed in the night.
When I let him out at night however, he wants to just hang out and stubbornly not come in. Humiliatingly, I have to bribe him with the word "Treat" several times in order to get him to come running in the door. I always envision people walking down the street and hearing me, saying pityingly to each other, "Boy. She lets that dog get away with almost anything. No wonder he thinks he runs that house!"
So I have come up with a new plan: I'll change his name to Pete when he is outside. I'll call, "Here Pete!" and everyone in earshot will think his name is Pete, but Augie will only hear, "Here! Treat!" And he'll come running in like a wonderful obedient doggie. I'll look like an animal owner in complete control.
It's brilliant! And my wonderful children will shake their heads, telling each other that I'm one step closer to losing it completely.