Saturday, September 8, 2007

the flies, flies, flies of summer

I feel like I'm in an Alfred Hitchcock movie like The Birds, except it would be called The Flies. We have a sudden batch (hatch?) of these big, fat, slow-moving flies, and they are EVERYWHERE. Yukkkkkk and blggghhhh! You can't set your glass down without them ba-zoom-zooming over to try and land on it.

I was making Almond-Crusted Chicken, and I had just chopped the almonds on my cutting board. (It sounds better than it tasted, so I'm not sharing that recipe.) I put them in the bowl, turned around, and picked up the package of chicken to open it so I could skin and salt & pepper the chicken on the cutting board. By the time I turned around again, there were three flies already there trying to suck up almond crumbs or something. I had to wash the cutting board before I could use it for the chicken. Icky!

This fly situation has happened every August/early September for as long as I can remember! I don't understand. Flies can't read the calendar.

That does explain, however, why each summer in August or early September, my neighbors can see me at night through the front window, looking for all the world like I've lost my mind as I vacuum the ceiling.

There's a simple explanation for that. The flies land on the ceiling at night and just sit there till morning. I wait until eleven or twelve at night and slink through the house sucking up flies with the end of the vacuum tube. You have to move the vacuum up to them slowly, but if they start to move, you have to quickly move the tube towards them and it's like you meet them halfway in their takeoff. Zup! They disappear.

Sometimes I can feel them hit the inside of the tube against my hand and I feel like Pac-Man swallowing up the little dots and bonus thingies. Yeah! Got another one! Unhh! Take that! Bonus points--got two at once! Well, after about a week of this, they are usually all gone.

If I try to do it earlier in the evening, though, they simply fly squares around the end of the vacuum tube and completely avoid it. A complete exercise in frustration. Yes, they fly in squares, not circles. Watch them sometime. I kid you not!

Now you probably are realizing that I actually must have a bit too much spare time on my hands if I can spend it watching flies fly--in squares. That kind of thing actually only happens when I am procrastinating and trying to avoid something else I should be doing, like vacuuming the cat hair off the carpeting. It's much more satisfying to suck the flies off the ceiling instead. I feel like I'm doing my part to defend my family, you know? Girls can be warriors, too.


Miss Paula said...

Well you could hunt them down with an Australian accent like the Crocodile Hunter. That would make is real exciting.

I just finished a book that the ladies had ladybugs all over and they also used the vacuum! I would be a crazy woman if I had to do fly's or ladybugs. (Have you ever seen a ladybug up close? Looks like a teeny BEETLE)

I am interested in the book your reading. Are you still liking it?

daisyaday said...

I finished the book about the Muslim woman, and I'm still reading High Noon. I'm crazy about both of them! I'm still going to read High Noon when I go to bed...if I ever get off the computer.

I keep saying, "I'll be there in a minute, dear." (True sign of a Blogging Chick!)

Miss Paula said...

I love Pink!!!! I need your address Miss Daisy!