Friday, September 14, 2007

a most exciting thing in a woman's life cycle

So, apparently I have entered one of the most exciting cycles of my life -- perimenopause. I think a man wrote that phrase. Maybe a man who likes walking on the edge of death on a daily basis.

I guess it can be exciting, but probably not in a good way. It could be exciting to see how many times a day I will get on everyone's nerves around me when I go from bubbly to ugly and back in point oh three seconds. It's exciting to see if I will remember everything I need for work when I leave in the morning (keys to get in my office, my lunch, milk for my coffee, shoes on my feet, etc.) It's exciting to see if I will remember how many times I tell my children the same things over and over, and to watch them shake their heads when I'm on about the third or fourth time telling them. It shakes me up, but I DON'T LIKE IT!

I have not yet gone to the doctor to be tested for this, but apparently one can do that. To me it's almost like going to the doctor for a pregnancy test when you've missed your period and you've been throwing up every morning for the past two weeks.

I came across this link to a list of possible symptoms, and this list strikes fear into me like never before. It's like being in one of those dreams where you see the train headed right for you as you stand on the tracks, and your feet are like lead. You can't move. And you just have to watch it coming at you. And you just hope that it's a loooonnng ways off!

I match so many of the symptoms that I could be the poster woman for it. Of course, some of them I don't know if I have because I haven't looked. (And don't want to.) Is there life after menopause? There must be. Grandma Moses started painting at what, 80 something years old? I'm just waiting for someone to reassure me that I will survive perimenopause.

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