Wednesday, December 5, 2007

there's no such thing as too much Novocaine

I made it through another dentist appointment! I was NOT looking forward to it at all. In fact, I even tried to give my time away. A friend of ours came into the dentist office with her little girl who had fallen on the playground and smashed her mouth up. I offered to let her use my time, but they had an open spot for her. Doggone it!

Well, the dentist put lots of Novocaine in for me, and I think he stood there for literally three or four minutes, easing the numb stuff in so I wouldn't feel a thing when he was working on me. Then about ten minutes later he came back to do some more. Infiltration, he calls it.

Sounds like a covert operation. "Yes, we're going to infiltrate now." How do you like that for "nicespeak"? I know there's another word for it but I can't think of it right now. What is that word? Not oxymoron, not political correctness, but kind of like that.

It's one word. I think it starts with a "C". It's calling something ordinary a nicer, fancier name so it sounds better. Kind of like renaming garbage collectors and calling them sanitation engineers. I have nothing at all against garbage collectors, or sanitation engineers, for that matter. That's just an example of the word I'm trying desperately to think of. Arrggghh! What is that word??!! Okay, I'm breathing into my lunch sack. Calming down now.

But back to my story, so they filled this tooth where I couldn't even tell there was a cavity, right in front. And they used a metal filling instead of a white one. Don't those have mercury in them? I'm ranting today. It's just the aftermath of going to the dentist. I have to let off steam.

My hair looked like...like I had bedhead, for lack of a better word. I tighten up my shoulders so much when I'm in the chair that my neck scrunches down, and my head tips back. So my hair gets all ratted in the back from when I tense, and then I try to relax. Gradually I tense up again, and then I tell myself to release and breathe. Oh, it's awful.

So I'm madly smoothing down my hair when I'm done, and wiping my face where it's numb so that I don't walk out with half a pound of tooth shavings and splatter on me. My mouth was so stretched out and dry that my lips felt like Goldie Hawn's lips must feel right after she has her collagen injections. I think if the wind had been blowing when I walked out, my lips could have been mistaken for small flags.

Then I had to head for class, and I was starving. I bought a scone and a coffee at Caribou Coffee. I am so glad that no one had a camera when I was trying to eat that scone, and thankfully it was dark out so other drivers couldn't see me! Half of my lips wouldn't purse together at all, so while the right half of my lips were making all the right moves, the left half of my lips were randomly flapping open and shut.

So as I was eating this scone, pieces of it were falling willy-nilly on the front of my sweater! What a waste. I paid $1.95 for a scone, and I only got to eat 80 cents worth of it. The rest of it landed on the floor as I shook out my sweater. I tried not to bite down very hard so I wouldn't find myself chewing up my lip along with my scone. I didn't even try to drink my coffee for about a half hour. Crumbs can get brushed off, but huge coffee stains that would cover half my shirt? No thank you!

The very best part of the whole thing is that I'm home dentist-free for another six months. Whew!

4 comments:

KreativeMix said...

I can't stand the dentist appts. There's absolutely nothing redeeming about them. And its not like my teeth look better when I leave anyway. ......... oh wait.... i just had an epiphany - - i probably need a new dentist :-)

daisyaday said...

LOL. I think I'm traumatized from the dentist I had when I was a kid. I would probably rather stick my arm in my mom's old wringer washer than go to the dentist. Sorry to all you dentists out there. It is what it is, for me.

Bianca Jackson said...

Infiltration - a covert operation involving the patient's teeth. How cool-sounding could that get? Hah, so do you remember now what that "C" is? And yep, every time you get your teeth checked and cleaned by the dentist, you'll be in for a couple of months being cavity free.

daisy said...

Aahahaha!! I absolutely do not remember what it was. But thanks for stopping by! :)