Sunday, April 6, 2008

win Allison Bottke's new book here!

Today I am featuring the newest book by Allison Bottke, Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children. Allison wrote this out of her own experience with her children, and her honesty and hard-won wisdom are transparent and genuine.

Perhaps you struggle with your relationship with an adult child. There is a whole new dynamic that comes into play when you deal with your children as adults. I always say that parenting is not for cowards, and it doesn't only apply until they turn eighteen. They don't magically grow up and mature on their birthday.

Growing up is a process, and in our current society, young adults typically take longer to mature and become completely independent. A new term, twixters, is used to describe the generation of adults who have not completely detached. Failure to Launch is a funny movie from a couple of years ago about this very topic.

Parenting is a process of teaching children independence and letting them go so they can stretch their wings. It's being there to catch them when they fall at first, and giving them a boost to get them on their way again. But a parent has to make the decision when to pull back and let them start to fly, sink or swim on their own, so they learn which decisions have the best outcomes. If we always rescue them, they never experience the "pinch" that says, "Oooo, don't do that one again!"

It's a balancing act. And what we most wish for our children is that they learn to be happy, healthy, confident, loving adults, who can function in society, and take the ups with the downs without taking them all to heart.

Parenting is about teaching them what is right. It's about encouraging them in their walk of faith without forcing it down their throats. It's about continuing to set a good example, modeling how to be a mature adult, and being consistent. Consistency cannot be overrated.

Allison has many insightful suggestions with concrete examples to illustrate the points she is making. I'm pleased to have a copy to give away! Leave a comment for me if you would like to have this copy for yourself. I'll choose the winner on Saturday, April 12 at the end of the day.

If you would like to read my interview of Allison, and see what she had to say, that post will immediately follow this one. Leave your comment here if you would like to be entered in the drawing. Thanks so much for reading!

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