Saturday, October 25, 2008

bittersweet endings and new beginnings

I left work for the last time Friday. It didn't really feel different than any other day, except that I kept reminding myself that I was not coming back, at least as an employee.

I only cried once during the day when someone said something sweet and nice to me, but then at the end of the day when my friends walked me out to the car, they started crying. And I started again. We were laughing and crying at the same time. I'll miss them so much.

My honey and I went out for dinner, and afterward, we took a little drive past my new job. I think it's about the same distance, and it'll probably take about the same amount of time. At least I know where I'm going now.

New beginnings. Time to start fresh. It doesn't seem real. I don't have the same emotions as I did the last couple of times I started a new job. I was confident, excited to be done with the one and to start the other.

Today I have a rather flat, flavorless emptiness inside, like a pop that has been allowed to go stale. I don't know what to expect, and I'm a little apprehensive. I miss my cozy nest of a job, but I know it's time to go. I couldn't stay. All the reasons why I was looking in the first place have not changed.

My mind keeps ticking. What's it going to be like? Will they like me? Will I be competent? Is this right for me? What if it's not? Then what? Did I make the right move?

I have all these questions rolling around in my mind, and I can only think of one answer:

4 comments:

daisymarie said...

This song is such a part of my psyche. It's tucked away in there and floats up every now and then. It was nice to be reminded. Blessings on your new beginning.

karen said...

Thinking of you today on your new job! No fears ... you have so much to contribute to the new team! I hope it's everything you want it to be. FYI - it's bloggy giveaways week - are you joining the carnival? I want to enter your drawing if you if are ;) Take care, dear Daisy!

faith said...

Thinking of you today as you start your new job. I'm sure they will love you! Best wishes!

Becky K. said...

Hope the new job goes very well for you. It is always interesting to make such a major change.

Becky K.