Tuesday, December 2, 2008

off to a slow start

Ooooh. Missed blogging on the first day of the month. Not a good thing when your child has been harassing you about being a slacker. Have you seen her comments on here? "Mom. You're fallin' behind. How'm I supposed to keep up on the daily dirt when you only blog catchup posts on the weekend?"

Sorry, Gee. It's been a little busy, doing things like GOING TO GET YOU A MATTRESS, and working and cooking dinner...you know, all those inessential things. :) No, I'm not really shouting at you. I'm em.pha.si.zing. Ok, maybe I'm just a tad PMS-y. I'll try to tone it down.

Let's see. What's going on today? Well, this is nothing new, but I was talking to Gee on the phone tonight, and she let me go because she couldn't tell when I was talking to her and when I was talking to someone here. You know how they say dogs are color-blind? They can't see colors? Well, people in this house are phone-blind. When I'm on the phone, people just walk up and start talking to me. I'll do the exaggerated pointing at the other side of my head where the phone is, mouthing silent things like, "Hello, I'm having a conversation here. Do you think I'm talking to myself?" They look at me like I have given all my marbles away.

So I fling my hands up in the universal "whatever" sign, plug my open ear, and squeeze my eyes tightly shut. They finally shrug their shoulders and tromp away, asking each other, "Why is SHE so crabby?"

And the person on the phone can't hear the other conversations. All they hear is my conversation with them, punctuated by the bits and pieces I throw out to other people to try to satisfy their need for information. So I get, "Are you talking on that phone that doesn't work again? I can't understand you."

I'm caught between two conversations and I don't hear either one. My brain can't handle it. I'm going to give up talking on the phone. In fact I'm going to move to a little cabin in the woods that doesn't even HAVE a phone. Ai chi wa wa. Well, actually I'll have to save up for it first. I'll put an envelope for it in my Dave Ramsey budget plan. Escape Cabin.

In the meantime, don't be surprised if you call and I answer the phone with, "WHADDYA WANT??!" Don't worry. It's nothing personal.


karen said...

get yourself a bluetooth ear piece thingie and really freak 'em out! Ha! Then they will really think you've gone over the edge - talking to yourself. I still crack up when I see people milling around the grocery store with those on, talking to someone, but it looks like they are chatting with their imaginary friend. May I rent a room in your Escape Cabin?

daisy said...

I know what you mean. I remember the first time I saw someone with one of those. Don't tell anyone, but I thought it was an extra fancy hearing aid or some type of stupid-looking fashion accessory.

If I do that, and if they stand in the other room, point, and whisper to each other about me going over said edge, at least I could have my conversation!

Kathy said...

I do enjoy reading your blogs. They make me smile.

Gail said...

ROFLSHIPMP!!!!! impressive huh mom? I made up my own shortening of words just like you do!! :P this post is so funny .. so true

Gail said...

hee hee... rolling on floor laughing so hard i'm peeing my pants :P