Wednesday, April 22, 2009

appreciate this

Yesterday was Employee Appreciation Day at my job. Gak. I hate things like that. They're excruciating. I was going to rebel and go late, but in fact, I ended up skipping the event altogether! Yes, yes I did. I just sat at my desk and worked.

My co-worker went, and she came back from it with a bright red button that says, “I am kind of a big deal…because I work at…” How nice. Go to an employee appreciation and they insult you with back-handed compliments that they expect you to wear on your shirt. After she explained the Anchorman connection or whatever it is, I got it, but I still think that was dumb. And am I the only one in the universe who doesn’t know the context of that?

I guess I don’t appreciate cutesy anymore. Like I’m going to wear a button that says I’m kind of a big deal. Well, I probably wouldn't wear a button that says "I am a big deal", either. I don't do buttons. Give me a $5 coupon for the cafeteria or something. I’d feel much more appreciated. You know? Am I ungrateful?

Then at this meeting, they talked about layoffs. They said they won’t have to lay anyone off except for a few employees who are still on probation that they have decided not to keep on. That sounds good, unless you’re one of the employees who are still on probation. Mind you, employees stay on probation for six months after they officially start. It could be me!

Then they played name bingo—they shouted out the names and you had to match it to a face on a hard-to-see bingo card covered with dated, out-of-focus pictures of employees I’ve never heard of. Wow. And finally they had iffy-looking cake and punch for everyone. What a hoot! You mean I could have missed productive work time for that?

I am getting sarcastic in my old age. Interesting...or maybe it's rubbing off from the kids.

Then after tossing the probation thing over in my mind all night, I get to work this morning, and there is this HUGE dog kennel by my desk. I thought maybe they were trying to get cutesy with their pink slips and let me know I’m in the doghouse, or in deep doodoo. But no, the kennel is just here temporarily until someone picks it up. So much for that theory.

So it's back to the waiting game. Wait out the days until someone picks up the rug I'm on and rolls me out to the curb, or until I pass my probation get-in-free date.


Sue said...

It sure doesn't sound like you missed much in the appreciation department. It sounded almost insulting to the employees. :-/

Hope tomorrow is a better day :-)

Crazy Daisy said...

I appreciate you, friend!

karen said...

I'll print out one of those "quality" best employee of the week certificates for you. Or a certification in keyboarding or blowing your nose or something. Oh oh, even better, Certification III. ha! This post is so true - I bah hum bug all that stuff, too. So goofy. xo