Wednesday, May 5, 2010

it falls under "noneya"

So a couple of weeks ago, I found a creepy crawly little woodtick embedded halfway into the back of my knee, and I did exactly what they say NOT to do. I pulled it out.

If you think about it, what is anyone going to do when they find a bug with its jaws buried into them up to its shoulders??? I ask you. Who is going to stay reasonable and logical and think, "Hmmmm. I need to find some petroleum jelly and dab it on this tick to see if it will back itself out of my flesh." Right...

If bugs creep you out like they do me, even if you stay calm on the outside, your mind is going to be screaming and making you dance, "GET IT OUT!! GET IT OUT!! NOWWWW!!"

When I pulled it out, there was a huge chunk of my skin still sticking to its front end, so I assumed that there was no head remaining in my leg. I figured I was in the clear. I stuck the tick on a piece of tape, folded it over so it couldn't crawl away anywhere to regroup and bite someone else, and threw the nasty little thing away.

Fast forward to this week, when my honey said to me, "What is wrong with the back of your leg??" And I looked...only to see a huge red blotch where the tick had been. The first thing that flashed into my head was LYME DISEASE!!! We've been finding ticks everywhere lately. It's early for them, but everything is early this spring.

My honey said, "You'd better get in to the doctor. Like now. Like don't go to work this morning, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, just GO." And rolling my eyes, off I went.

Well, the things I learned. I should not have thrown that tick away, first of all. Stick it in an envelope, and write "doctor" on it, he says.

[This guy, by the way, was the one I said I'd never go to again, because when I went in to ask why my ankles were so swollen at the end of every day, he said it was basically because I'm fat. And if I would just get out and do some exercise and lose some weight, it would solve the problem.] He is a genius at stating the obvious, AND of speaking to me like I'm some halfwit.

And then he says, "Well it takes two weeks for your body to develop antibodies to Lyme Disease. It doesn't sound like it's been two weeks yet, but we're going to do a blood test anyway." And surprise, it came back negative. Do you think that he could have decided to wait a week and have me come back in for a blood test instead of doing one that we pretty much already knew the results of? So now, I should watch for symptoms, and if I have any, they will retest. And mind you, he explained it three times, and printed out the information as well. I don't mind if they explain it thoroughly, but shouldn't it at least make sense??

But the medical assistant who did the initial check of blood pressure, pulse, etc., was lacking in the personality department as well. Everything she asked was in the same deadpan tone of voice. I wonder if that in itself didn't make the questions she asked all the more disconcerting.

In fact, they ask some of the most personal questions I've ever heard, and if you think about it, some of them fall completely under "noneya". Do you feel safe in your environment? "Noneya." "Noneya?" "Yeah, noneya. Noneya business." Do you think that if someone were having issues around not feeling safe at home, they would feel safe admitting that to some couldn't-care-less MA asking a bunch of routine questions? I think I understand the idea behind their questioning, but I still don't see that as a place where I would feel safe confiding my problems.

And then, "Are you still having periods?" Noneya. [What in the world does that have to do with a tick bite?] And ditto for the question, "Are you sexually active?" Excuse me? Does the tick care? Really. Do you care? No. It's just a question on a list they tell you to ask. Why? So you can update my record. For whose convenience? Will your clinic rise or fall on the details of what stage I'm at in menopause? Will it matter if I don't answer a question that anyone else wouldn't even think of asking me? Good grief, Charlie Brown!

3 comments:

Becky K. said...

Sorry to hear about the tick. We have oodles of them around here too. Hate the critters.

It is good to "hear" from you again, though. Funny and true concept...Noneya!

Becky K.

Nezzy said...

Really, you either pull the blood suckin' varmint out or you pay a Doc to pull it out. I always douse a cotton ball in alcohol and hold it on the tick for a bit and the tick tends to 'let loose' better. If you do leave the head in...it festers out like a splinter or any other foreign object. You can develop tick fever years after bein' bitten. Just keep an eye on it and take care.

As for those dang questions...."noneya!"

God bless and have a beautiful spring day sweetie!!!

Crazy Daisy said...

Good luck with the tick! I would be the person running around the house, yelling for husband to get it the heck out NOW!

As for the questions... I hear ya! I called the clinic after hours number once to see if they thought i should come in now, or wait until morning. They had me on the for for 90 minutes to tell me to come in with in the next 3 weeks... UGH